Monday, April 9, 2012

Does my bum look big in this clutter?

I owe the wisdom of this post to my beautiful Ange, who only has to open her mouth briefly to spout forth unexpected and perfectly timed words of wisdom and nourishment (I love you, Goddess!). So, last week's week of nourishment turned into a week superbly hijacked by Fatty McFatty, who I am going to call my 'inner fat demon' (yes, student husband dear, those demons are indeed pesky :P).

The week started well, I got up early every morning to go to yoga. Trust me I was surprised too, if you know me well you know that I 'don't do mornings'. Even my boss knows not to plan 9 am meetings where I need to be 'en forme'. In fact my last boss, when I told her I wanted to start taking advantage of rostered days off by coming in an hour early every day, actually laughed at me. Anyhoo, you know I was having a tough week last week. I'd had terrible days where I was eating way too much, an old bad habit that I've used as a coping mechanism for way too long. After adding in the early morning yoga, which seemed to kick-start my metabolism and have me hungry all day, I was pretty much on the 'seefood diet' last week, you know, where you see food and eat it? This was very poorly timed with the disproportionate amount of baking and social functions that went on in our office last week and let's just say that my inner fat demon was very happy. To the point where there was no way I was going to weigh myself.

I was stressed out all week and couldn't stop eating and just kept focusing on the Easter break as the time when I would get my head straight and get back into control again. Seriously, I was so bad during the week that both my Mum and my brother told me I was just using stress as an excuse to eat (shock, horror!), to which I replied, 'but I can't stop. If I could I would but I can't.' It all culminated by the end of the week with me actually having a cry out the front of work on the phone to my brother (for some reason I always cry when I talk to him), and a big outpouring of all the emotion I'd obviously been hanging on to for the last couple of weeks. Luckily for me, he will be here in 4 more sleeps to hug me (no doubt I will cry, ha ha!).

Anyhoo, I realised today that my bum was indeed looking big in my clutter. Ange was telling me about a book ages ago, with a similar title, about decluttering and the effect of clutter on your health, weight, etc... I totally got it at the time and thought the whole concept was fabulous (the premise being that if you declutter your house and pantry and life in general, you will eat less junk). I didn't do this intentionally but I realised that this occurred simultaneously to me sorting my shit out this weekend (sorry for swearing, Daddy).

This weekend I got on top of a whole pile of things that I'd had floating around in my head due to my hectic past few weeks. I cleaned my house, I have been working non-stop all Easter on my study and I have got my schedule clear in my diary of what I need to do when for uni. It ain't pretty, but now I know what I'm up for. And I think that was the whole problem. Not having it clear in my head what I needed to do. My bum was looking big in the clutter of my head. It was so messed up in there that I was eating to cope with it. Good Friday I started to study and I still ate more than I planned to but it was drastically better than during the week. Saturday I started back on Cohen's and went out and got a HUGE task done that had been hanging over me for at least a month, and Saturday arvo and all day Sunday I studied. This morning I got my schedule straight and that's when a sense of relief hit me. I am officially decluttered. Hilariously, my clean house keeps getting messy again each day (I've been doing too much washing) but I've been making myself tidy each night. It's like I've been wrestling with it all weekend. Hopefully by the time my beautiful Jacquie arrives for a visit (from Canada!) on Wednesday it will be finished. But funnily enough, I've stuck to my Cohen's diet for (almost) 3 days, and my house was the cleanest it had ever been when I did Cohen's last year.

So my enormous lesson out of all this is not to let my head get so cluttered ever again. Because yes, my butt does look big in this clutter.

Happy Easter everyone!

M. x

P.S - I ate all my sugar-free Easter chocolates (spread over the week, not all at once - no thanks to Fatty McFatty) without taking a photo of them (wtf??? I was clearly in a strange place not to take a photo at least), so I'll post the recipe next time I make them again.

P.P.S - My stress doesn't seem to have affected Bella, who I busted taking an afternoon snooze on my computer chair this arvo. And yes, that's a jumper she is wearing. It's cold here and she had a haircut last week, so she is all bald and funny. :)

1 comment:

  1. Hi Mel

    I have read your blog and your Cohen journey. I'm wondering whether you reached your goal weight and whether you managed to do the whole re-feeding regime .
    I lost 25 kgs on the programme, but sadly fell short on the re-feeding part. So, today, I'm seeking some motivation from others in the same boat! Go well! I'd love to hear all! Lynn